For Your Viewing Discomfort

Dear Amy,

I don't think I talked you down from buying the throw pillows. I think I just asked if you really needed them, which guilted you out of buying them. This question has worked well for us at the thrift store in recent weeks. It makes us think about things, and yes, we too have often left the store with non-buyer's remorse. But rarely do I think back more than a few days and even remember what it was I wanted so badly at the time. Even more rarely do I find myself continuing to wish I had it. Once in a while I do, but a little wanting never hurt anyone.

At your suggestion I watched "No Impact Man," which gave me some things to think about. Since I was sick and didn't feel like getting up off the couch (unrelated to movie), I followed that movie up with "WalMart: The High Cost of Low Price." This gave me even more to think about. It might seem like these two movies don't have anything to do with each other, but I think they were a perfect combination. And here are a couple of my thoughts:

1. We have got to become more aware of what we are spending our money on. Where does it come from? What is the cost of getting it to us--in human suffering, in environmental impact, (and of least importance) in dollars and cents? We choose to turn a blind eye, and I think that will come back to bite us.
2. We must learn to do without if it means that others will be or have been hurt in order to get us what we want--that means strawberries out of season as well as the 99 cent sweatshirt.
3. We can take a stand, even if it won't make a measurable difference. No one cares that I don't shop at WalMart, but I plant seeds when I tell people I don't. My weekly landfill contributions aren't going to destroy the environment compared to what I saw them throwing away every single day at the hospital when Mother was there, but it's something I can do, and the fact that I'm careful about what I throw away means I also plant seeds. When I tell people I compost, they ask questions. They think, maybe only for a second, but they think, about doing something differently. That's got to be of value.

And since I'm promoting media today, if you'd prefer to read, here's an interesting article on spending from a recent Newsweek issue.

Love,

Leslie

Define "need"

Dear Leslie,

A few days ago you experienced (via phone) my first big thrift store experience with me! I was thrilled with my purchase of 6 pairs of pants and 6 shirts for the kids which totaled $27. Not only did I love that receipt, but it was so much easier than I thought it would be. But while browsing, you stopped me from buying the really cute throw pillows ($4 each) that match my living room perfectly and would replace my shabby ones that Honey has been secretly removing the stuffing from because I didn't "need" them. I have to admit that I have regretted not buying those pillows. You, after all, got a cashmere sweater! Can't I have two throw pillows?

Sunday I heard this quote by President Monson, "Avoid the philosophy and excuse that yesterday’s luxuries have become today’s necessities. They aren’t necessities unless we ourselves make them such. " I think it's interesting that 150 years ago Thoreau had a similar idea in his book, Walden (on my list to read again this year). "Simplify, simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if it be necessary eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and reduce other things in proportion." If they could reduce 150 years ago, just think how many things we have today that aren't necessities.

I've been thinking a lot about defining need and I think I'd like to have a discussion about ways to know if we need something or not. Need can be a shifty thing, so it's helpful to me if I have criteria to base my decisions on. I also think that everyone has different things that they need. Obviously someone who has a career has to have a different wardrobe than I do. People who entertain in their homes for business purposes might need to have a different set up than we do. So the question is, what is sufficient for my needs? Here's some ideas of questions to ask myself and things to do before buying something.

1. If it's for my wardrobe:

• First, figure out what clothes are sufficient for my needs. How many pants, skirts, etc. do I need to look presentable? Get rid of the excess.
• Am I replacing an item that is worn out and beyond use or am I just adding another piece?
• Do I really need to replace the worn out item?
• Can I survive (literally) without it?
• If I do really need it, make sure I find what I love, that it fits correctly and is something I will really wear.
• Stay away from trendy fashions.

2. If it's for the home:

• Is the item just for aesthetics or will greatly improve the functionality of our home?
• Do I need the item to ensure that my home doesn't structurally deteriorate?
• Can I cook for my family without it or does feeding them rely on the item?
• Do we need it to stay warm?
• Can I entertain guests in a simply furnished home? (Yes)
  

3. Can I borrow or rent the item if I'm not going to be using it regularly?

4. Wait and think about it before lumping it into the "need" category.

5. Make a list of needs before shopping. No purchasing unless the item is on the list.

6. Remember the actual definition of need: something you have to have in order to survive, vs. want: something you would like to have, it might be good, but not necessary for survival.

I'd like to hear your ideas about this! I think it will be much easier to have firm guidelines in place.

Love,
Amy

P.S. Thanks for talking me down. I didn't need those throw pillows.

Killing Time

Dear Amy,

So what do you do when you're more than half an hour away from home, with a couple of hours to kill, and you can't go shopping?

I suggested the library, but Taylor vetoed that. It wasn't too cold outside--about 36 degrees, so I suppose we could have gone on a walk, but didn't want to. There weren't any museums near by.

Taylor suggested we just walk around in some stores and look at stuff, but don't buy. I am opposed to that, because every time I do, I find out that I really need stuff I never even knew about.

This is just clearly one more strategy of The Man to get us to empty our pockets into his coffers.

In the end, we went to a couple of stores. I bought some sale yarn that I will be needing, and some cheap measuring cups and spoons to replenish my ever-dwindling supply (where do those things even go, anyway?). Not a disaster, but it made me think about how much of our community is only set up for spending money, and not for spending valuable time.

Must take this to the table next time I'm asked to sit on a city planning commission.

Love,

Leslie

Oh, it's like butter!

Dear Amy,

Is it possible that some needs don't become needs until we know about them? Because before today I never would have said I needed a 100% cashmere sweater. Apparently I have never worn something entirely made of cashmere before. I found one at Savers for $3.50. At first I just stroked it on the hanger for a while. Then I tried it on, and almost started weeping right there in the dressing room. Honestly, I considered pulling the price tag off so I could pay for it without removing it from my body.

I know I can justify everything because it's used, it was half off (actually almost free because I had a $3 off coupon), and I don't have a lot of sweaters and it's 9 degrees here every morning, but really I just want to say that I now know I have a very deep need for cashmere.

I am going to sleep with my new sweater, I think. It is like butter, only not greasy.

Love,

Leslie

Some Good Finds

Dear Leslie,

The past few days have been quite eventful. It's finally cold here and a sweater is no longer sufficient for Hannah so we went shopping Friday. We went to a small local thrift store that had two racks of children's clothes, nicely divided by color. Not overwhelming and the nice thing was it took 5 minutes to look through the stuff and we were done. Nothing. So I opted for convenience and we checked out the children's consignment store down the street. They actually had 4 pairs of 7 slim jeans, one of which Hannah liked, but sadly they felt "weird". We did find a very nice jacket that felt "good" and paid too much for it, but she was warm for our 32 degree day today. I'm thinking consignment stores are a little pricey used goods and only for special occasions.

Saturday, we decided to see what the mice and ants have been so excited about in the garage. Turns out, chicken broth in little cartons. Who knew? We cleared the whole garage out and now it is a sparkling thing of beauty. We got rid of a whole van full of stuff and jam packed our garbage and recycling cans. Plus, I found a purse that Micah threw up on that I chucked out there a couple of years ago. In it I found $3 cash, a $3 coupon to our local book store that now sells used books and a nice watch that Kalani bought me for Valentines day when we first got married. Grand total: over $300 worth of goods! That reminds me of the time in high school when I cleaned my room and found $60. It really pays to keep things clean.

Today, on a wild goose chase (to find a DI trailer) that my Verizon navigation sent me on, I got a flat tire. Fortunately, I made it off the freeway and slid right into a gas station. A nice young man, whose New Year's resolution was to help people in need whenever he could, helped me change the tire. Unfortunately, my New Year's resolution added some extra work to that task since we had to unload all the junk, but everything ended up nicely.

So here's the BIG find. I decided to drop off my donations to the Goodwill and found my new hangout. All in a row, Goodwill, Salvation Army and "Thrift Shop". There's the volume I need to find those 7 slims! Probably will be overwhelming, but I will save all the money I just spent on my new tire.

Love,
Amy

Change-a-lujah!

Dear Leslie,

Well done, you! I have been doing some serious thinking about why our family is doing this this year and why I am writing a blog after being passionately anti-blog for so long. I have many thoughts on both matters and but I've been waiting for the actual answer to come to me so I can stop thinking about it and get on with it. Thank goodness for Reverend Billy and the Stop Shopping Gospel Choir!

Have you heard of this guy? I came across him a few weeks ago when we first started talking about our project. He's an anti-consumer activist who has an evangelical delivery style. He and his Choir tour around the country putting on shows and campaigning their causes. Last night I watched his movie, What Would Jesus Buy? (Produced by Morgan Spurlock, Super Size Me guy) on Netflix instant watch. He's not a Christian, but he's trying to get people to think about Christmas, what the message of Christ really was and to stop shopping. He may be a touch irreverent, but I think he's clever and the choir's songs are witty and fun! The movie reminded me of some things and helped me solidify why I'm doing this and why a blog.

Why I'm Doing This

I asked K why we're doing this and he responded that for him it's not so much to save money or to be ecologically conscious, but he wants to purify himself from influences (The Man, greed) that get him off the path of what life is for and who he is meant to become. I wholeheartedly agree with that, but I'm going to add more.

I think it's always so interesting how there are almost always two camps to politics and issues like these. There is the camp that wants to save the earth and protect human rights and there is the camp that is focused on saving the individuals' souls and spirituality or religiousity. I believe that these two camps should not and cannot be separated.

For the most part, we have no idea what affect our purchases have on the earth or the people who are making them. I think it's pretty clear what will happen to the earth if we keep producing and consuming at the rate we are going, I mean, we've all seen Wall-E, but we don't understand our individual impact. And most of us have no idea that the shirt we're wearing made in Bangladesh was probably made by a child existing in daily misery to satisfy our thrill for a great deal and a full closet. Unfortunately, the reality of our world today is that many of the comforts that we enjoy come at the expense and suffering of many people. When we consume without thought and AWAREness (I do read your blog sometimes!) we are hurting the earth, we are hurting people (often children) and how can we do this without it having an impact on our soul?

So, I am doing this to consume less of the earth's resources and reduce waste. If I do have to buy something new, I'm going to try to buy locally made or buy fair trade items to support the rights of people to fair wages and working conditions. I think that being more aware of these things and doing my part will be good for my soul. And then, of course, I just don't want to be driven by the need to buy and have.

Why the Blog

At first I didn't want to blog. Then I thought, "okay, let's just do it, you and me. No one will read it anyway." But then I thought, "Well what's the point then?" You and I can have these conversations on the phone and I can get a lot of other things done at the same time. If I'm going to take the time to blog, I want it to do some good! I guess that movie woke up the sleeping activist in me. I really care about this stuff and I want other people to care too! We all need to care!

I am usually very quiet about my personal convictions and beliefs. I hold them closely and protect them. I get really passionate about things but I reign myself in when it comes to sharing those things. It seems like a lot of the time when people are passionate, they get labeled as "radical" or "fanatical". Also, it makes people uncomfortable when they hear about ugliness and that they may be playing a part in it. They'd rather not listen to that. Am I more concerned about people and their well being, or am I more concerned about what people think of me? Maybe it's time I stopped caring about what people think of me.

I've read some books and articles, seen some videos, I know only a tiny bit about this topic. This year I'm going to learn more. I'm going to learn about what products and corporations to avoid and which to support. I'm going to share what I learn here about how to live simply, frugally, sustainably and with awareness of others.

So what do you say? Let's be activists too!!

Love,
Amy

P.S. I promise my next post will be shorter!

One step forward . . .

Dear Amy,

I'm not going to call it a step back. I'm not even going to call it a step sideways. Maybe it's not even a step. But in any case, the step forward was good.

Monday night we went to the BYU Museum of Art to see their Carl Bloch exhibit. Everyone needs to go to that, if at all possible. It's free, and it's awesome. Sorry to taunt you. I know you can't go. But it's really, really good. Anyway, Taylor raced through while Bret and I used the guided iPad tour and took our time. This gave her several hours to spend in the gift shop, trying to figure out how to burn the January allowance she'd received two days earlier.

By the time we staggered in to the gift shop, she had made her final decision. A coloring book. I looked at it, and it was cute. I came close to letting her get it. But first I said, "Do you really need it?"

T: Moooooomm! It's my money. I can do what I want with it.

L: That's true. I'm just asking you to consider before you buy. This is what I'm trying to do every time I spend money. Do you really need it?

T: Of course I don't need it. I just want it. And I'm buying it with my money.

L: Okay. If that's how you feel, you can get it.

Then I wandered around the shop for a minute, and looked at stuff I don't need. As we were getting ready to buy the book and leave, Taylor put it back on the shelf and said, "You're right. I don't need it." And that was that. She wasn't playing the martyr or anything. She was able to walk out and not look back. I felt it was a small victory.

And now about my step back, or whatever it was. Today is my day for shopping and running errands. I've been feeling smug, because I haven't bought anything this week. I forgot that Thursday would be the real test. I ran some errands, and then decided to just pop in to Savers and see . . . if they had anything I needed. They did. Running pants that I've been needing for a while now, because all of my running gear is made for seasons other than winter. Brand new pants are uber expensive, and I've been waiting for these used ones to show up since long before the temperature dropped below 20 degrees. That was great. I found some shoes, barely worn, in a color I don't have, and of the brand I always wear because of my foot condition. Great. I hesitated, because I don't seriously need them right now. But here's the thing: when you need something, you can't run into a thrift store and find it in stock. You have to anticipate what you will need, and buy it when it shows up. This opens the door for a huge justification exercise. I think I was moderate.

It will get really boring really fast if I catalog every single expenditure and try to justify it here, but this is all new, so I'm going to give some extra details while I figure things out. I got the shoes. I'll need them sometime soon. I got two sweaters, because my brown sweater is too big for me, and this one looks much nicer. I don't really have light cardigan-type sweaters at all, so I got the other one, partly because it was half off. I'd forgotten my coupon, so I felt a little guilty about that, but I'll go back and use it later this month for Taylor or Bret.

I felt good about it overall, because I resisted the temptation to shop through all the clothes. I skimmed through and told myself I was going to be temperate, and the sweaters were what I needed most. But I can see that it will be difficult not to look into the future and predict a "need" whenever something good shows up.

In the meantime, errand day is over and I'm safe until next Thursday!

Love,

Leslie